It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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