She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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