I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Shame is for Republicans.
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