I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
