omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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