"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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