Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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