i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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