I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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