Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
