he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize