I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
