In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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