So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
