he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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