I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
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She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
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... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"