The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.