So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?