...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.