he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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