your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
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At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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