The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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