You just made me feel so damn special
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
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Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
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One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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