I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
