i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
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