2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize