yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize