you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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