I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
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When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
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Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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