i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I think your dad took our porno
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
