i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
