there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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