Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
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