I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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