She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I think I just sharted jello shots
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize