he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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