Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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