Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
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