We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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