Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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