do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Randomize