Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
