Sponge bath it is.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
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i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Randomize