so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize