if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
