like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
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