She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.