I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
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all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
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yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.