Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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