Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize