Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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