Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
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Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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