You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
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