you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I have feelings that need drinking.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize